Updated: Mar 9
I’ll be quite honest, the past few days have been rough. My family visited an indoor waterpark this past weekend, a little get-away trip that we take as a family every year. This year was different. Matthew wasn’t present. He’s still deployed. STILL. Sure, I was with my family yet that didn’t feel like enough; it just didn’t feel right.
I’m sooo used to sleeping alone at this point that I won’t know what to so when Matt gets home, yet the bed felt so empty this past weekend while we were away.
Then yesterday my day was kooky, for lack of a better word. I found myself counting my blessings as they school I typically work at was in the news for a serious incident. I worked at a different building today because I wasn’t feeling up for my usual and thank God for that.
After reading the news, I just needed that very grounded, sensible personality of Matt’s to rein me in but by the time I left work it was too late to call because of the time difference. Like, seriously, who decided a time difference was necessary?
Then my niece spilt milk in Matt’s new car --- that he is letting me use while he’s away --- ekkk!! And he wasn’t here to lecture us on why it’s important to always use a cup with a lid, especially when drinking milk. I wish he would have been barking in my ear because let’s be real, I shouldn’t have given her a cup of milk with no lid in the brand new Acura. Someone needs to call me out when I’m not using my brain.
So then I get home to find out my cat, who Matthew begged me not to bring home, sprayed all over our freshly, professionally cleaned sofa. I literally got it cleaned one week ago...ugh. I found this out by sitting down for 0.2 seconds, followed by me nearly hurling all over my freshly cleaned carpet. If Matt were home he would have gone bananas and added 2 more reasons to the list posted on the fridge that reads “reasons we are dog people”.
But here’s what I remember at times like these…
He will be back. He reminds me of that day in and day out. When I ask him when he’ll he home, he won’t ever tell me. I doubt he even knows but he always reassures me that he will return. And of course I know this ---- but sometimes I need that reminder.
I will be okay. I’ll take care of the spilled milk. I’ll call the cleaners and ask them to come back because I can’t even sit in the next room when I know my sofa smells so horrendous.
Things will go back to normal. I will feel whole again. Matt will bark in my ear about a million other little things because that’s what normal couples do...I think??
With time, everything will be back in it’s place, including my favorite person in the world. He’ll be back in our happy little home before I even know it and I can’t wait.
Here’s to hoping the furniture will be clean when that day comes....