It's Impossible to Love to Much or to be Too Kind

Updated: May 3, 2020

As many of you know, this isn’t my typical writing style but I think that sharing about feelings is important once in a while and we need a reminder sometimes that it’s okay to feel things and talk about our weaknesses and personal quarrels.

Recently I was reminded how {very} short life is and how little time we have to make it meaningful. No one likes to think about this but honestly people, we aren’t here for long. The past year while my soldier has been deployed has seemed like the longest time ever but it’s really just a small stepping stone in our journey. I also think about how productive I’ve been this past year and I realized I that in reference to my goals and dreams, I wasn’t “doing the most”, so to speak. I spent some time feeling like a little bit of a failure, like I was falling behind but then I realized what I really did this past year.

I made the past year amazing for my niece. We did so much. (Vacations, the library weekly, school, concerts, parties, day trips, amusement parks, playgrounds, sleepover parties and so much more) She continued to learn how to be a kind person and I reinforced it and continue to reinforce it every single day. I taught her some American Sign Language and some French and she willingly will choose puzzles and crafts over playing games on the phone (huge win). That’s the big victory, I helped my niece become a better {mini} person. Which isn’t easy might I add. I think every aunt, mom or grandma would agree, kids are tough especially this day in age. There are so many outside influences that aren’t in line with what your family values and as a parent or auntie you don’t only have to teach from scratch, right from wrong but you also have to break down those things you didn’t want your kid to learn (like talking back to adults, if your kid sees another kid doing it...they have just learned how to disrespect an adult -- great!)

I completed my 6th, 7th, 8th and 9th courses in my graduate program and kept my GPA up. If you are in graduate school, you know how much motivation you need to keep up with school. It’s been especially hard for me this year with Matt being away and spending most of my time away from home. I continuously found ways to procrastinate and put off my work. I really had to pull myself together to finish this last class and thank goodness I did. I was able to stay on track to graduate this December and I couldn’t be more thrilled to be almost done.

I was a good dog mom to Riley and I rescued a kitty who needed a home. I made sure Riley felt extra loved since Matt went away. I’m clearly an animal person and I can imagine not everyone is but… when a service member leaves for a long time, it affects everyone, including our pets. I gave Riley extra snuggles and let him have a few extra treats here and there (don’t tell Matt, lol). I made sure the kitty I brought home had a warm bed, food and lots of love.

I started a blog which was very much out of my comfort zone but here I am and I am proud of it. It still needs a ton of work and time to develop but I took the first step, and the second and the third.

I paid off and cut up a bogus credit card that I got when I was really, no 18 year old should be trusted with a credit card, even if you grew up with a dad with an 800 credit score. Just don’t get one, seriously!

I rekindled a friendship with someone who I have known since I was 5. We parted ways after high school because life took us in different directions but now I can’t imagine any length of time without my friend and her family in my life.

Thinking about it now, I really did do a lot since Matt’s been away. No, I didn’t get the amazing job I wanted nor did I end up with a 4.0 GPA in grad school. But I did accomplish so much, right? I grew as a person. Those accomplishments are more meaningful to me than most things. They are ‘hard to measure’ but they are better than any GPA or job in my book.

Here’s what I’ll leave you what feels right, be happy, be sad, take time off from what you should be doing and do what you want to do. Spend the time with your loved ones, do average in school, rekindle friendships. It's impossible to love too much or to be too kind. Don't worry about overdoing it. In a year you’ll be so happy that you did what you wanted to do. It feels amazing!



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